Happy Valentines Day!
Well, due to the fact today is the day of love…I feel a beautiful obligation to post something along the lines of romance. Now, as a young woman in her first serious relationship, I am far from a relationship expert. BUT, I have learned waaaayyyy more than ever expected within these last 18 or so months. I have decided to share some of these lessons that I have learned.
Now, I am aware that some of you, beautiful readers, might not be in a romantic relationship, or even might be in a disaster of a romantic relationship, or that maybe you do not want to ever be in a romantic relationship. These lessons I have learned are true for any relationship (romantic or not). So, regardless of your Facebook relationship status, I do encourage you to read on. (Ps: if you are in a disaster of romance…honor and respect what you truly deserve. Which is all the good things the world has to offer)
#1. Forgiveness is key.
Something that I learned very early on within my relationship is that forgiveness is key to a successful relationship. Forgiveness allows a healing of shortcomings, wrong doings, and disappointment. Forgiveness allows a relationship to restore the connection back to before the hurt took place. Forgiveness allows you to continue to develop a pure (untainted) relationship. Forgiveness has allowed my relationship to blossom without any sort of hindrance in my heart, or his.
#2. Your partner is human, too.
When I dreamt about my future relationship, I pictured me and all the things of me but I never pictured him and all of his things. I never pictured things like his strengths, quirks, or insecurities. I did not imagine that my partner would have an overwhelming amount of grace or that he would have an obsession with movies. I did not imagine the required time to learn someone. I did not imagine the required space to allow someone the space to fully express themselves, the good and bad. I appreciate who he is, all of him, and I have learned to allow him the space needed. This lesson has translated into non-romantic relationships, too. The ability to allow someone to be is incredible.
#3. Communication is the most beautiful gift.
Being a communications major, I truly see the glory of communication. I recognize that communication is pivotal to creating the life you want to live. But, I have learned a new depth to my love for communication by being in a romantic relationship, The experience getting to communicate, share, and open up with all of my deep insecurities, needs, and desires is an extremely humbling experience. It is absolutely terrifying to share your inner thoughts and feelings, but communication allows us to create a mutual intimacy. Communication is liberating. It allows me to know my partner more and allows him to know me. It is one of the most beautiful aspects of a relationship. So, be brave in your communicating. Be brave in your expression, even if your voice shakes.
#4. Sacrifice is an honor.
One thing that I didn’t fully recognize until this relationship was the power of sacrifice. I knew that you had to sacrifice for things you love and that anything you say “yes” to requires you to say “no” to other things. but, I did not really realize that I could absolutely find joy within sacrifice. I truly find joy to sacrifice for my partner. I find joy in getting to say “yes” to him everyday and, in turn, say “no” to other things.
#5. Do not overthink it.
One thing that I completely failed at in the beginning of our relationship was that I got caught up with my worries way more than I reveled in the wonder. There is something so special about a new crush and a fresh relationship, but I was so paranoid by what others might be thinking or if I was making a mistake. When I think about my relationship, I get sad by the fact that I let worry steal some of my wonder. I let worry rob me of the gift set before me. Now, with a deep desire to have learned my lesson, I refuse to allow doubt to steal my wonder, excitement, or joy anymore. (I think I will write more on this one day, but if you are in a similar spot I would LOVE to talk more about this. Reach out!)
#6. Find your “perfect” relationship.
Going in to my first serious relationship, I kind of expected things to look like they do in the movies and the tv shows. I expected to constantly gaze into each others eyes, never worry about the amount of coffee drank, and always be in the best outfits (that never had any fashion disasters). What I quickly realized was that those relationships depicted in television are not true relationships. My partner and I had to find the things that work well for him and I. It isn’t about a “supposed to” but finding what works for me and my partner. So, don’t be consumed with supposed to but instead figure out what makes your heart come alive and share that with your partner. Find out what makes their heart alive and celebrate that with them. I now spend my time watching movies, going to music stores, and I drag him with me to explore the aisles of grocery stores.
#7. Love is always worth it.
No matter what you are facing, I promise to you…love is worth the risk. Love is a risky experience. It requires humility, vulnerability, and facing fears head on. Regardless of the difficult things my partner and I have had to face together…experiencing the love we have built and chosen is worth every fear and insecurity and difficulty.
Thanks so much for reading. I hope that, today, you would be surrounded by love (regardless of what that looks like for you). Let me know your V-day plans in the comments below!! ❤