2019: Marriage, Failing, & Young Living

Uncategorized

Well, today is January 14th…meaning we are two weeks into the new year…but here is my NEW YEAR NEW ME POST! (kidding…sorta)

We all know the gist…the new year comes around and everyone makes a bunch of resolutions that, more often then not, they do not see the fulfillment of. Yet every single year, so many people go through this ceremonial tradition of resolutions. The newest trend seems to be the “word of the year” thing. Instead of creating resolutions, people decide a word for the year and have that to set the tone for the year. For me, I think this process (of both resolutions and a word) is a really wonderful time to reassess your life and become a bit more intentional.

I started working on this blog post weeks ago. The potential of this post made me really think about what I want for 2019. I made a list of of the things that 2019 will hold for me: more connections, more hobbies, graduating college, and so many other things. But the more I have thought about them, the more they seem to have become filtered down to the most important aspects I want in 2019. It is really only three things, but they are good ones!

Marriage.

One of the really big things, for 2019, that is on the agenda plans potential adventures is the topic of marriage. Christian (the very handsome rockstar boyfriend) and I have been dating for over 2 years, and for us that had led us getting quite a bit serious (not an ounce of judgement if you and your partner need longer than that or less than or whatever your relationship choices are). We have begun talking about marriage and what the future looks like for us. We had some very serious conversations over the holidays and we have decided that this is our final year before we get married. (Disclaimer: we do NOT have a date. We are not even engaged, but we are very aware that our time of being unmarried is coming to an end).

I share this because one of the biggest things I want to do this year is really embrace this time before getting married. I want to use this final year of singleness to really get healing, to prepare my heart and life for the process of officially becoming life partners with someone. I want this to be a year of preparing and adventure. (I think I will write more about this later…about the things I want to accomplish, but that will come later).

Failure.

This year the word I chose for the year is Failure.

I know, that sounds so strange, but hang with me!

As a type 1 enneagram (if you have not done this personality test yet…you have to!!) I do everything in my power to avoid being “bad” or to avoid “corruption” or to not fail. Type 1 has an absurd moral standard and only see actions/people as either good or bad. There is no gray. Because of this thinking, I avoid doing a lot of things that I know I won’t be the best at. I avoid doing a lot of things that seem “wrong” because I do not want to become wrong. Because of this, I avoid a lot of life.

In 2019 I do not want to do that anymore. I want to intentionally embrace the failures of life. Failures are inevitable. They are not things that can be avoided. I want to intentionally do things that I feel like I fail at…painting, bowling, or challenges for myself (like my list of books I intended to read over Christmas). I want to accept my failures and know that they are a part of me.

I want to truly know that my failures make me who I am and are just as important as my successes. This word for the year is making me feel more brave and more adventurous…

which leads me to my third (and final) goal for 2019…

Young Living.

Deciding not to fear failure has pushed me to making a big decision…I have decided to become a Young Living distributer. Young Living is a company that sells all natural products, more specifically, essential oils. Essential oils are called the “life blood” of a plant. Basically, it is this oil that is extracted from a plant that is used to support/benefit one’s life. For example, you could use peppermint essential oil to help get rid of your headache. Another example is using the oil called “Peace and Calming” to promote tranquility in your mind, emotions, and life. You use these oils topically, internally, or diffuse them into the air. These oils have changed my life. I have contemplated becoming a distributer for months now, because I really believe in the products. I was scared, though, because I am afraid of what people will think and I am afraid that I won’t sell the products. With the encouragement of embracing failure, plus the extreme desire to make my life more natural and healthy that I am doing it. I will definitely be sharing more later, but for now…you can check out my new Instagram: @SmellyGalEssentials

I am very excited about 2019. I think that this will be a magical year filled with accomplishment and grace.

What do YOU want to accomplish in 2019?

XO,

M

Lessons from this Semester

Uncategorized

This semester was a big one, a few months that changed me forever.

I have learned that maybe I am not as put together and I once thought I was. And maybe that is more okay than being perfectly pieced together.

I have learned that sometimes the closest friend you could ever have is your own skin and bones.

I have learned that the path through change isn’t straight. It isn’t smooth. It cannot be given a time limit. It cannot be controlled.

I have learned that each person is more similar than meets the eye and our differences are things to be celebrated, not reasons for separation.

I have learned that you must be a sponge around those that you love. You have to soak up every moment, passed the point of being full, soak it in until you are dripping in love.

I have learned that it benefits you, in the long run, to trust others. Trusting others brings more magic into your life.

I have learned that conflict isn’t something to turn away from, but to press in to. Conflict isn’t something to try to avoid. It creates bonds that can hold the weight of relationship even in the midst of disagreement.

I have learned, again, that The Lord truly has your best in mind.

I have learned, again, that The Lord never leaves you, even in the darkest moments of abandonment.

I have learned, again, that The Lord will come through. Despite my confident doubt in The Lord’s plan, he came through.

I have learned that life is a process and your goal shouldn’t be destination, but just learning to love the ride.

Crashing Over Me

Blog Post

Life is unpredictable. Sometimes we are laying in the sunshine and sand, content and managing everything super well. But other times we are being rocked and rolled, slamming into the rocks on the sea shore. We are constantly moving with the ebbs and flows of life.

I am the type of person that aims to accomplish. I aim to be successful. I feel great when I am successful. Often times success, to me, looks like handling my responsibilities completely and not feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities. Which creates problems, since I am also the type of person that loves to accept more responsibilities. I am constantly inviting in more responsibility, making it harder and harder to manage it all, making me feel less and less successful.

When you have the perspective of success directly correlating to responsibility, I think it pushes us to hold onto those responsibilities too tightly. We cling to our responsibilities, fighting to hold onto them in order to prove to ourselves that we are worthy. We are looking for our worth to be proven.

Despite it being natural for me to think that my responsibilities are directly linked to my value, I think my thinking is wrong. I think that the two things are not remotely linked. I think each of us simply have innate value. And I think we are given responsibilities. But I do not think that our value has anything to do with our responsibilities.

What if I don’t hold so tightly to things that encourage the thinking that I must do in order to value myself? What if I accepted my innate right of value and used that to do incredible things?

What if I stopped holding my life tightly within my hands, suffocating each aspect of my life, but instead I keep my hand opened, allowing the ebbs and flows of life.

Tight grips are all about fear, open hands are about expectations. I want to live with more open hands.

This week I am learning, I am choosing, to open my hands in another area of my life. I am choosing that I am worthy, simply because I Am. I am choosing to trust the greater good, instead of my own plans. I am expecting incredible things from my life, not because of what I can do, but because I believe in it. I believe in myself and I believe in my future.

Is anyone else having to learn to let go and surrender? Is anyone else learning to love the ebbs and flows of life? I am…even when the wave crashes hard.

Thank you for reading!

XO,

M

Dreams Coming True

Blog Post, YouTube

Dreams are scary things. They seem far and out of reach. It is a fight to believe dreams are possible, that they could come true. We doubt the full abilities within us. We subscribe to the idea that we are chained to the cards we’ve been dealt. But the few, and far between, go after their dreams; they accomplish them. Those are the people we all aspire to be. Those are the heroes.

I want to be one of those people.

I have a dream of influencing society to see more beauty within themselves and others. My dream is to use the internet to create inspiring things and to reach people outside of my bubble. Currently, there are two ways I see of accomplishing this dream & becoming a dream-fulfiller…

  1. this blog. (this blog has become such a lovely place for me! I am so thankful for each of my followers & readers!)

  2. youtube.

Yes, that is right, youtube!

My boyfriend, Christian, and I have decided to embark on the realm of YouTube. We are so excited to be doing this together. We want our channel to be a safe place for people to find joy within our content, but also to be inspired to think differently and pursue wholeness more. I dream of really bringing our subscribers with us through the journey of life. We want to share about the ups and downs of our relationship, the tensions of figuring out which careers/jobs/ futures to pursue, and our own personal journeys of healing and continuing to become who we were meant to be.

We are thrilled to be pursuing this dream!

I know that some of you much prefer to read things, while others of you probably prefer to watch. My goal is to make both platforms (youtube and this blog) intertwined, but also very similar. So, if you want more of me or more of what I have to say, check out my channel! But this blog will also be a place for people to find more written details of my video content (when applicable).

This dream is something that we have been seriously considering for about 6 months. We kept talking details, coming up with a layout of how to do things, we bought a camera, but then nothing was happening. We even filmed! But, we kept letting it sit, doing nothing. A couple of weeks ago we finally had a tough conversation. We, both, felt fed up that we weren’t doing anything. We were all talk and no action. We, basically, said enough is enough. If we were really going to do this youtube thing…tha
n we need to actually do it. No more talk, just action.

If I am being totally honest, I was scared. I was scared of failing. I was scared of being a disappointment. I was scared of not being funny enough. I was scared of not being good enough. I was scared. But honestly, fear just keeps us away from our dreams. I am over that. I refuse to listen to fear.

Enough is enough.

Which brings me to today.

We have a couple of videos published on our channel so far…and a dozen in the works.

I just want to say…it is okay to scared of dreams. It is okay to even struggle to put action behind the dream. But, let this be your wake up call…

Your time is now.

You can do it.

I believe in you.

The world needs what you have.

GO. FOR. IT.

If you still haven’t click the link yet…here it is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp-LeM8KICghiTZyzIPHItQ/featured

And if you are checking out the channel, please subscribe! & you can hit that bell notification to make sure you get notified every time we post!

Thank you for all of the support you, yes you, give me. I feel really honored to have the resources and opportunities to be doing this and pursuing this dream.

XO,

M

IMG_1981

 

Dirty Humanity

Blog Post

One of my all-time favorite things about me is that I am a human. That might be an odd thing to say, but I absolutely adore being a human. Being human is the hardest thing that anyone will ever do. Humanity is messy. It is dirty. It is a whole lot of spills, shattered glass, and broken hearts. It is selfish, offended, disappointed. Humanity is difficult, for everyone. Did you grasp that?

Humanity is difficult, for everyone.

The journey of being a human is a long, over-stretched process of each person simply learning how to human better. Regardless of who they are, or how well their name is known, no human ever conquers humanity (other than Jesus Christ, I guess. Lol). Each day each human is faced with a new set of difficult human challenges. I mean, “I am human” is the ultimate excuse. Each day we have more human choices to make on what kind of human we will be.

A huge perk of being human is that we are surrounded by other humans trying to be humans. We are all fumbling along trying to figure this whole thing out.

We aren’t alone in the mess and difficulty of humanity.

If you feel like you are struggling or have been having a really hard time recently, I just want to say that you’re not alone. Human-ing isn’t easy! Insecurity, comparison, and offense are popping up! But that does not mean we have to partner with those things.

Recently, I have been feeling super offended. I hate that, but when I am feeling those feelings I get to choose if I am going to align myself with those feelings. Am I going to align myself with that? Or am I going to rise? Am I going to examine the situation deeper and find the true root or am I going to stay in the shallow end of offense?

Remember, you are simply learning to human better. So, be gracious to yourself as you learn. Do not get angry at yourself for getting a bit of dirt on your hands. Life is messy. and it takes time. So, take your time & get messy

Mess does not always have to be a bad thing. When I look back at my life and I see all of the heart-break, chaos, emotions, and adventures I have been on I am extremely thankful. Each pile of mud I have stepped on has taught me. Each handful of dirt I have picked up has strengthened me. Each shoe, covered in dust from adventure, has shown me new perspectives. Sometimes our mess requires a different attitude. No longer will I view my mess or the messy situations I am facing as failure, instead…I will rise to the occasion and embrace the mess. I will joyfully allow myself to be covered in the mess, accepting it all, and then learn to grow from it.

Just like a flower blooming requires some dirt, you require some dirt to bloom, too.

Having the heart to grow, regardless of how messy it gets, is what is important. Growing and developing as a human, becoming better at human things, is what keeps us moving and stops us from being stagnant. So, regardless of where you are…if you feel like you are a storm raging or if you feel like you are an empty field, it is okay. Just begin to pick up your pieces and build yourself again.

Here is a poem by Pavana that I thought went nicely with this post…

somedays,
i am the flower
somedays,
i am the rain.

-pavana

I hope you enjoyed! Let me know in the comments your human thoughts! Also, would love to hear what you’d like to hear from me, let me know! Thank you for giving me your time and reading my sweet simple words. It is such an honor to have your attention.

XO,

M