Owning It

Blog Post

Making friends is weird.

It isn’t easy finding the balance between being truly me and also wanting to make a good impression. It is such a sticky path. It is twisted and complicated. Being in a new school, knowing absolutely no one, makes finding friends not super easy. The whole process of making friends makes me feel like I am back in elementary school and trying to find people to play with on the playground.

Since being in school, I have made one friend. We have a couple classes together and are pursuing the same major. We were basically destined to be friends. Our friendship went from zero to sixty, real fast. I wasn’t even certain we were friends and then we were spilling our guts.

We quickly began talking about the deeper things about life: heartbreak, family drama, life, death, and everything else in-between.

The other day our class got cancelled so we went out to coffee (what a classic college statement to say). We sat down, a pumpkin latte in hand, and the conversation ebbed and flowed. Back and forth. They shared. I shared. It was an extremely rewarding conversation.

It was at coffee that I began to share my story. Up until this point, they had shared more than I had. Up until this point, I was just Maranda. I wasn’t Maranda The Christian, or Maranda The Ex-pastor, or Maranda The blogger, or even Maranda The Sinner. I was just Maranda. When the questions began, all the details flowed. I shared quite a bit. I definitely shared the parts that make me look waaaay less than impressive.

My new friend responded beautifully. They were kind and understanding. But, I walked away and kind of panicked.

I woke up the following day questioning what the heck I did.

I think I was just smacked with the realization that I have left the comfort of the church community. And now I am trying to navigate what I believe, what I want, and where I am going. Now, I don’t have the safety net of the church. Or the comfortability of church. I am just figuring out where my place is.

I was terrified of what my new friends thoughts would be. Did I share too much? Is my story too different? Will I be accepted? Am I enough to be their friend?

I reached out to some of my superhero girl gang & told them I was spazzing. They responded with reminding me to own my story.

My story matters. Period.

It doesn’t matter what I did seven years ago.

It doesn’t matter what I haven’t done.

I have a really beautiful heart that deserves to be trusted, honored, and celebrated.

I deserve to be surrounded by people that remind me that my story is valuable.

It’s so funny, because my new friend was really understanding of my story, but MY insecurity got involved. Owning my story is just another layer, a deeper level, of self love. More acceptance.

So, in this journey of making friends…I’ve decided to become my own friend.

Just like I am accepting of the new people I meet, I will be accepting of my story. I will extend kindness and grace and understanding to myself. I will trust the beauty I bring into friendships. I will celebrate who I am become through every season of my story.

Why does it seem so complicated to accept and befriend oneself. The reality is, you deserve friendship. You deserve respect and honor. You deserve to extend friendship to yourself. So, regardless of your story…own it. Rock it. And don’t doubt the fire within you.

XO,

M

Dreams Coming True

Blog Post, YouTube

Dreams are scary things. They seem far and out of reach. It is a fight to believe dreams are possible, that they could come true. We doubt the full abilities within us. We subscribe to the idea that we are chained to the cards we’ve been dealt. But the few, and far between, go after their dreams; they accomplish them. Those are the people we all aspire to be. Those are the heroes.

I want to be one of those people.

I have a dream of influencing society to see more beauty within themselves and others. My dream is to use the internet to create inspiring things and to reach people outside of my bubble. Currently, there are two ways I see of accomplishing this dream & becoming a dream-fulfiller…

  1. this blog. (this blog has become such a lovely place for me! I am so thankful for each of my followers & readers!)

  2. youtube.

Yes, that is right, youtube!

My boyfriend, Christian, and I have decided to embark on the realm of YouTube. We are so excited to be doing this together. We want our channel to be a safe place for people to find joy within our content, but also to be inspired to think differently and pursue wholeness more. I dream of really bringing our subscribers with us through the journey of life. We want to share about the ups and downs of our relationship, the tensions of figuring out which careers/jobs/ futures to pursue, and our own personal journeys of healing and continuing to become who we were meant to be.

We are thrilled to be pursuing this dream!

I know that some of you much prefer to read things, while others of you probably prefer to watch. My goal is to make both platforms (youtube and this blog) intertwined, but also very similar. So, if you want more of me or more of what I have to say, check out my channel! But this blog will also be a place for people to find more written details of my video content (when applicable).

This dream is something that we have been seriously considering for about 6 months. We kept talking details, coming up with a layout of how to do things, we bought a camera, but then nothing was happening. We even filmed! But, we kept letting it sit, doing nothing. A couple of weeks ago we finally had a tough conversation. We, both, felt fed up that we weren’t doing anything. We were all talk and no action. We, basically, said enough is enough. If we were really going to do this youtube thing…tha
n we need to actually do it. No more talk, just action.

If I am being totally honest, I was scared. I was scared of failing. I was scared of being a disappointment. I was scared of not being funny enough. I was scared of not being good enough. I was scared. But honestly, fear just keeps us away from our dreams. I am over that. I refuse to listen to fear.

Enough is enough.

Which brings me to today.

We have a couple of videos published on our channel so far…and a dozen in the works.

I just want to say…it is okay to scared of dreams. It is okay to even struggle to put action behind the dream. But, let this be your wake up call…

Your time is now.

You can do it.

I believe in you.

The world needs what you have.

GO. FOR. IT.

If you still haven’t click the link yet…here it is: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCp-LeM8KICghiTZyzIPHItQ/featured

And if you are checking out the channel, please subscribe! & you can hit that bell notification to make sure you get notified every time we post!

Thank you for all of the support you, yes you, give me. I feel really honored to have the resources and opportunities to be doing this and pursuing this dream.

XO,

M

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