Lessons from this Semester

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This semester was a big one, a few months that changed me forever.

I have learned that maybe I am not as put together and I once thought I was. And maybe that is more okay than being perfectly pieced together.

I have learned that sometimes the closest friend you could ever have is your own skin and bones.

I have learned that the path through change isn’t straight. It isn’t smooth. It cannot be given a time limit. It cannot be controlled.

I have learned that each person is more similar than meets the eye and our differences are things to be celebrated, not reasons for separation.

I have learned that you must be a sponge around those that you love. You have to soak up every moment, passed the point of being full, soak it in until you are dripping in love.

I have learned that it benefits you, in the long run, to trust others. Trusting others brings more magic into your life.

I have learned that conflict isn’t something to turn away from, but to press in to. Conflict isn’t something to try to avoid. It creates bonds that can hold the weight of relationship even in the midst of disagreement.

I have learned, again, that The Lord truly has your best in mind.

I have learned, again, that The Lord never leaves you, even in the darkest moments of abandonment.

I have learned, again, that The Lord will come through. Despite my confident doubt in The Lord’s plan, he came through.

I have learned that life is a process and your goal shouldn’t be destination, but just learning to love the ride.

Hello, Stranger.

Blog Post

Hi, beautiful readers, it has been some time. Far too long since I have written here. I could give you so many excuses as to where I have been, but that doesn’t seem as entertaining as the truth.

This whole blog process seems like a stranger. It feels foreign, writing my internal thoughts through the repetition of finger taps. I have missed it, tremendously. This was never my intention, to take a break, but life swept me up in it’s chaos.

The last time I wrote, my life was changing. I had the subconscious attitude to hunker down and survive as my life pushed and pulled me here and there. I wanted to show my strength. I wanted to show my ability to overcome. I wanted to show my bravery. So, I just faced it all head on.

Bravery is a beautiful thing, but sometimes it robs you of the power of vulnerability, the power of emotion, the power of mess.

Anyways, my life got flipped upside down and I was just trying to stay afloat in the midst of it. I lost my job. I no longer could see my immediate support system everyday. And I was no longer safe in a bubble of known conservatism. Having grown up in the church, I knew how the conservative side of America like the back of my hand. But, what happens when, in a way, I was pushed out of that safe bubble. Well, I began to discover new perspectives.

I walked, head held high, into a campus crawling with liberals, strangers, and challengers. I was pushed to the edges of what I believe, how I believe and who I am. These strangers that I walked the halls with, have sharpened me and watered me. They have created a new version of me that is more beautiful than the last.

Now, I am not saying that I have given up all my previous beliefs or radically thrown my moral compass out the window (even though I was given plenty of offers to do just that). I am just saying that the juxtaposition of my church-bubble compared to my new, daily, community of students has really made me find my own two feet to stand one. No longer am I accepting of a belief, lifestyle, or behavior simply because others want me to or because it was what I was taught, instead… I am discovering what I think.

The battle of this semester has distracted me from a lot of my hobbies and passions (like this blog). But I am back with a vengeance.

XO,

M